At a recent group dinner there was a man. The other night during our Pub Crawl (I had two drinks out of four or five stops but the May the Fourth people watching was great) he came along. He's coworker with my 'friend'.
He showed interest in me, and I didn't freak out. We talked after together. He and I took a walk the next evening. It was a difficult conversation for me.
I have no serious feelings. No headrushy fluttery falling into him feelings.
I'm not sure I am even capable of that ever again.
It's nice to talk to a man though. He has a lot of qualities I like, so far. There are some things nagging me and I am not ignoring them. Like I think he is interested in me five years from now, not me Now. I was thinking being asked out on an actual date would be nice. I was thinking a kiss, maybe, would be... interesting. Sometimes in this place under the rubble I remember I want things...
No, I am probably not ready. I'm not pretending I am.
There is this wine thing Thursday. It's his turn. I hope its fun. If its complicated I guess it was 'nice' practice while it lasted.
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