He Stares At Me When I Am Naked

I feel a little subconscious after my shower standing there at my sink.  I apply sunscreen to my face and neck, decolletage and shoulders.  Then lotion everywhere else.  Looking at myself in the mirror...

He's sitting there, just outside the door watching, so silent.  So intent.  Unwavering.

I'm listening to Silversun Pickups radio on Pandora.  Mazzy Star Fade Into You.  I sway a little with the music.  I didn't wash my hair today.  I blast it with the blow dryer set hot and fast.  Then I curl it a little with the iron.  I'm not always confident in my skills doing my own styling, it's awkward, but today I think it looks pretty good.

I apply my make up wondering how I must look to him while I do.  What does a lover think when they watch you following simple rituals?

I learned a long time ago not to point out what I don't like about myself.  I don't want the man in my life to focus on those things.  He doesn't see what I see. 

I often try to see myself, outside of my own minds eye.  Alone with myself I find the way I look agreeable.

How different I feel under his scrutiny.  Standing there vulnerable.  Sometimes bold.

I can't help but think about all the times I have stood in the kitchen and he'd come up behind me, arms around, draped over my waist.  Lips and five o' clock shadow under my hair brushing my neck.  My God, there was nothing better than that with him...it felt like the after glow.  Pure happiness.  The golden shine of it infusing me.

What does he see, when he stares at me?  What does he think?  I wonder if it is at all similar to when I watch him, when he is unaware?

Do I make him feel the way he makes me feel when he catches me watching? 

Does it frustrate him when I notice his stare and grow shy?

He should crawl into me when I am alone.  See me as I do, feel me as I do when I am uninhibited when I am alone.  Know all those little things I do I do for myself and for him.  Know himself as I see him, how I resonate in his presence.

Can't I move within him the same?  How cruel and how kind I can not.

Would I caress his mind if I could? 

I would.