13 Years Old

My son has this habit of late.  He sneaks up on me.

He's driving me crazy.

I am trying to take back the wheel by keeping my promises.  Promises like, going to school with him, and making sure he Repeats 8th grade if he continues to flake out no matter how bright and capable he is. 

Life's a hammer.  I hate being part of that.  I am a Mom.  I want to protect and defend.  I want to be a safe place from that harsher part of life.

Yet, it is my place to teach him how to navigate as much as I can. 

I feel I am failing my sons terribly.

#1 truth of parenting no one tells you.  #2 truth of parenting, even if they did your stupid ass will still have kids not realizing the internal turmoil you are handing yourself wrapped in a bundle of guilt and neurotic worry.  #3 Truth of parenting, now that they are here...while you might fantasize about all the things you'd like to believe you would have done if you'd only had a clue how much their existence would change you... You'd Do It All Over Again, Or, You Wouldn't Change A Thing.

I wish I had a village.