First Impression of Online Dating

It requires people to lower their standards, or be so awed by someone that is relatively normal it can make that person seem a little too eager, possibly even crazy.

I have found of the men that have contacted me I am most impressed by those that can form complete sentences and spell well enough.  Grammar errors are common and sometimes I watch to see if they are consistent or if maybe cell phone keypad madness was the problem.  Errors such as there, their, and they're...well, you have to let some things go for the moment.  I can't think of the other cringe-worthy example, it is a way of saying something, that just drives me nuts (something like, I done the housework)...rains heavily on a spark of interest.

I am frustrated by how damn lazy so many of these guys are.  One worded answers, or simply an answer to a question, no question in return.  I'd like to point out, they have contacted Me.  My instincts say they want me to lead, to move the conversation along...

I delete their message thread and move on to a man that has a brain and some balls.

They will message me again with something that leads nowhere, it literally requires me to inquire after them first.  Don't think I am being nasty here, I check to see if it was indeed what I thought, it is.  Simple blah answer, no follow through.  Then later another greeting like the one before.  Good morning! Good morning, how are you? Good.  *later* So what are you up to? I just left work and I am going to my friends to bbq.  How was your day?  What are you up to? Good.
  

What I also find irritating is some want my number, I mean right away.  We haven't exchanged names.  I know really Nothing about them at all as we haven't said anything that makes me think, 'I'd like to give this man my cell number, maybe txt and talk to him.'

With one I said that I would prefer to get to know each other a little better, tell me about yourself.  He said it would be easier than messaging on the dating site.

Well, I wasn't that interested in you anyway.

There are a few I am willing to get to know if they don't do something that just kills it dead in the middle of the road and then sest it fire to make sure it is in fact Dead.

I am trying to be open to personality as opposed to just attraction factor.  I met someone on a 'date' yesterday and the moment he asked me if I'd like to meet just the planning of it instantly became complicated.

Finally we decided to meet at a Mexican restaurant a fair split between the two of us.  He's my height, and I usually prefer tall men.  I liked our exchanges though and I wanted to see what kind of person I was now and how I would respond to meeting someone outside of my usual attraction parameters. I have dated men my height 5'8" and had a great time and really liked them.  My last memory of that though is my ex-husband and I was never attracted to him so it was awful.

He's attractive!  I didn't find myself picking him apart. I looked at his face and body language and listened to him.  We sat down and chatted a bit, gave the order.  Then the chips and salsa hit the table.  And he picked up a chip and moved it toward my face.

Oh yes he did.  I made a clear indication that was not okay with me, I was clearly uncomfortable.  Feeding someone is when you're a couple, at dinner and sharing a meal maybe...or ideally after sex and someone decides ice cream is going to happen and you maybe spoon it to each other.  It is an act of comfort and familiarity.  Not a first meet and greet.

He said it was about trust.  Weird!  I chomped on it an gave him a scathing look he misinterpreted as 'I agree' and told him trust isn't just handed out and that was weird.

And he did it again a few minutes later.  OMG

So I glossed over it and let him talk.  He really liked to talk about himself, he is pretty great guy. Yep.  Then we played I'll ask you a question, you ask me a question.  Nothing like being on the spot when your brain is fried from being force fed chips and salsa.  He slipped in 'grannie panties or thong?'  I said neither.  I'd like to indicate now that the picture of him forming in my head was not a good one.

After the date he took a while in the bathroom and I waited for him outside of the restaurant grateful I could message my friend I'd be on my way to her house for the Sunday bbq that seems to be a thing every Sunday now.

He came out after what seemed a long time.  I think he'd been giving himself a pep-talk in the mirror, and wanted to hold my hand.  I didn't love it.  Then at my car he moved in front of me, put his arms around me and moved in for a kiss.

'Holy Shit!' my mind screamed as my hands came up and I pulled back.  He didn't want the date to end.  I wanted to get in my car and leave, NOW.

Thank you God for Sunday bbq.  He kept letting me know he'd be available for me to message him, when he'd be available, calling over his shoulder for me to message him when I was done.

He messaged me at 9:15 I was almost home.  How was the bbq.

I messaged back it was great.  Tons of food, friends, laughter.

good

Then he called me.  He was just so freaking weird.  Mumbling.  Was I okay, He was looking forward to seeing me again.  Oh, his idea for a second date was a movie and then making dinner at his place or mine.  I let him know that under no circumstance was having a stranger to my home, period.

I felt like I was on a forth date (the first meeting) and planning the fifth with implied sex for dessert!

Of course I let him know today I felt another date was nothing we should pursue.


Another guy...messaged me, I checked his profile and knew instantly I couldn't even come close to pretending I'd want to meet him or talk to him.  Within seconds of his first message he sent a second saying, that was a fast rejection.

Okayyyyyyyy.

I am finding this to be not my thing... They few I am interested in don't seem interested in pursuing me in any real way.  That's cool in the sense that if they are not I am not offended, but the hot and cold thing, or worse the lukewarm thing...

I am ready to message my friend in Iowa (an actual Man) and ask him wth is wrong with his species.

I don't think I will last a week on this site. It has only been a few days.

Did I forget to mention the 28 year old graveyard-shift-medical-cute-Asian-Boy that is MILFing on me?  He is ten years older than my son.  Seriously?  He's just sweet and chatty and thinks I am gorgeous.  Gee thanks Eddie Haskell, I don't think so.

I know I sound like a bitch, but, damn, just DAMN.  I am not kidding.  These are big and glaring and frantically waving red flag men.

I am being kind and not including the one word 'compliments'.  Sexy.  Daaaaaamnnnnn. Sweetie! Nice!

I had one guy send me several messages doing my talking for me, I never responded.  That was interesting.

Another guy said my profile was Wordy.  I looked at his.  I kid you now, twice as long as mind and he hates Everything, especially women and he is Gross.  Jaba the Hutt Gross!

I don't want to be some guys Mom, I am a MOM to my sons Only.  I don't want to lead the 'courtship', he should.  Lazy men make lazy partners/lovers/everything. 

I am in a vacuum.