And Then...

And then the morning came.  Good morning.

He'd asked me to give him a little something now and then.  You know, a good morning.  My response was an internal sigh.  I felt I was having a lot of those with him.

You're so impatient, I replied.  I am just opening my eyes.  He said he's already been up for an hour and how he wished I wasn't so busy all day. 

I said I am planning a cup of coffee, High Fidelity, and maybe an actual bath.

He said, 'Aren't you going into work at 11 this morning?'

No, it's Sunday. That's tomorrow.

Well, I think you should come hang out at my place, we'll watch tv, eat unhealthy food and just vedge. 

I explained I needed a day to myself to process out the night before and it's let downs, being abandoned by my friends and harassed by the short guy with no boundaries.  And, the afternoon before with him.

He said, It sounds like you're crossing me off.

By taking a day to myself to assess how I am feeling and process out last nights let downs?

And processing me.

*OMG

I replied, I am not even sure how to respond to that Don.  But it makes me feel uncomfortable.

The rest of his messages were manipulations.  1: I don't understand.  2: It's been a long time since he's been able to dote on someone and treat them so well the he gets that innocent smile he saw when he looked at my face. (creepy)  3: Spending quiet time with me, just hanging out with him cooking for me is like extended foreplay without the expectation of anything else (we never did that) 4: It's like Christmas for him, I'm new and fun and he likes me and wanted to spend time with me so we could both get to know each other better.  (I have been likened to a toy a kid is thrilled with and then often discards, but while I am being played with I should appreciate it) 5: He wishes he could find a better filter and a break pedal when he is getting to know someone, he's sorry :(  *so he's done this before. That maybe he is too genuine.  That he wonders if he will ever get it right. :(  6: That texting these things never come across as they should. That I can't hear tone or see body language. 7: That if I could take anything away from this I should remember the day before when he put the pillow across me so he could lean on top of me and we talked, really talked. He hasn't been able to open up to someone like that in a long time.  That my smile is energizing and it made him smile inside when he thought about it and being part of that was great. *I kept thinking, I need to leave when that was happening. 8: He's thinking of me.  Good night.  Good morning. 9: Um, are you done seeing me? Getting to know him?

I think that is what is best.

Why? Please don't...not this way.  He never picked me for a person to say it via txt.

Don, too much, too fast.  When I indicated I needed a day to myself you made me uncomfortable and after a few dates.

Then: How did I make you feel uncomfortable? He's confused about it.  That as honestly and open as we talked about tons of subjects (no we didn't) fixing this and getting to know more about each other should be easy.

I'm not interested in moving forward in any way.

He understands I feel that way.  I'm an amazing woman from what he knows.  He's sad to know He won't find my smile anymore.  He won't bother me again but if I change my mind I know where to find him. That he is done with the dating site and maybe we'll run into each other again and share a meal and another smile.  He just wishes I'd said it in person :(

Then a few hours ago: He really wishes I'd give this a chance.  He still doesn't understand what he did or said that make me uncomfortable.

Blocked

He's in sales.  He worked every angle in just those text messages, confusion, hey I'm a nice guy, I just want to do nice things for you (how could you not want that?), I can't believe you are that kind of person (guilt), anything to draw me into a conversation.  Working the angles to get me to assure, defend myself, question my feelings because hey, he's a nice guy with nice plans.

The reality.  He isn't caring about what I say, think, need, want.  He only understands his words, his thoughts, his needs, his wants.  If he can draw me into a conversation he can get the dialogue going and try to wear me down.

I blocked him.  I told my boss at the salon about him, just in case, and showed his picture and let her know he's super tall.  My girlfriend knows All about every detail.  His license plate, his home address, his name.

It's sad, he had potential.  I held back a lot, so much.  Now I see why.

I'm pretty sure in all of his not listening he forgot I mentioned my sister grew up with Bikers.  I am now part of their family because I look exactly like my Dad.  I Will Turn To Bikers if i need to.  Just get them to ride out, say hello at his house, make a point of letting him know I'd like him to kindly stop bothering me.

I behaved normally with this person.  I went on a handful of dates and made it clear I wasn't interested in a full on relationship and wanted time to get to know him for it to go further, that I liked my space.

I was incredibly clear in my text I wasn't interested in him anymore and why.  I blocked him.

I will set Bikers on his ass if he doesn't get it after all that.